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What Am I?

by Tim Loud

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  • What Am I? CD
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    Physical copy of this album in a stylish and tasteful digi-pack with an hilarious 6-page booklet.

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1.
You wake up in the morning call your Dad or your Mum. They say "Have you found a job yet?" you say "Shove it up your bum". Because you'll never join the rat race, and conformity kills. Then you ask them for some money 'cos you've gotta pay the bills. You take all that they gave you and you go to the shop. Get a tenner for the leccy and some booze flavoured pop. Usually white cider 'cos it's cool to drink that. But you top it up with Cava 'cos it tastes like crap. Every generation brings something new, to save some time we've combined a few. Little bit of this, little bit of that. Combine it all together makes one big... Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk . Slave labour shirt stating "A.C.A.B". Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. You don't support new music unless they give it out for free. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. It's easy to need nothing when you've money in the bank. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. Spent your gap year down in Asia and you really like to skank. Budda-bA, Budda-bE, Budda-bI, Budda-bO, Budda-bU. Budda-bA, Budda-bE, Budda-bI, Budda-bO These are the motherf**king vowels that I know. I see these walking contradictions as I push on through, they want to get to the top just to enjoy the view. Espousing all the lifestyles they used to despise, nobody wants to suffer so it's no surprise. They trade the Corsa for a splitter, get a man to tune their guitar(sic). Another books the shows and on it goes and on it goes. Every generation brings... Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk . Slave labour shirt stating "A.C.A.B". Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. You don't support new music unless they give it out for free. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. It's easy to need nothing when you've money in the bank. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. You learnt all of your politics from B**** ******* ***** I wrote this song about something that happened, it's nothing to do with me. Still I toured it round the affected towns as it helps to sell my new CD. I'm not trying to change the world, because I live in middle England. And everything is fine, thanks. I'm sick and tired of hearing bladdy all the same things from the rhetoric spewers on the anti-scene scene. I came here for the music, not the business nor the industry. I'd gladly take their money, but not if they want to change me. I've never been that comfortable living a lie, just want to leave a little mark of who I was before I die. I've never been that happy with what's put on my plate, I'm not an empty vessel, malleable clone or blank slate. Every generation brings something new, to save some time we've combined a few. Little bit of this, little bit of that. Combine it all together makes a steaming pile of piss. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk . Slave labour shirt stating "A.C.A.B". Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. You don't support new music unless they give it out for free. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. It's easy to need nothing when you've money in the bank. Left-wing, middle-class, trust, crust, folk-punk. When you're done with all our music can we please have it back, thank you.
2.
No Fight. 03:38
I sleep in most days. I don't set my alarm, just stay in my dreamy haze. Because I don't think that I can face. Another wretched day in this insipid rodent race, or my disgrace. She said I should change my point of view. But doing nothing is much easier of a thing to do. The bitter taste of failure and the drinking that ensues. Nothing else to do, I know it's sad, but it's true, I am through. And I ain't gonna fight, because I know that you're right. It's as clear as black and white that I'll never see the light. But I'm free, on this island that is me. Surrounded by a sea of anonymity, no empathy. So take your silver linings and your que sera's. Take your education, what I is is what I are. Stick them where the sun don't shine, if it bleeds you've gone too far. We're on this worthless ball of dirt circling a not-so-distant star, we're a scar. She said I should change my point of view. But doing nothing is much easier of a thing to do. The bitter taste of failure and the drinking that ensues. Nothing else to do, I know it's sad, but it's true, I am through. And I ain't gonna fight, because I know that you're right. It's as clear as black and white that I'll never see the light. But I'm free, on this island that is me. Surrounded by a sea of anonymity, oh woe is me. I checked out years ago, i don't claim that I'm the first. I just always came to things a little too slow. But I just thought that you should know. I do this because it's how I feel and not to prove some point, as it goes.
3.
Itch. 02:52
Belly full of pills just to keep me well. A mind full of demons, I'm living in hell. Imbalances are born of this, can't you tell. you know I'm always buying so what can you sell. The feeling gets inside of me, i want it. Privilege will dictate, it's not symptom, but cause. Well privilege never got through life crawling on all fours. Face down in the dirt, body covered in sores. I need to push away the pain, I need to get some more. The feeling gets inside of me, I want it. All i see and I all I hear, a life of concession, a life of fear. All i see and I all I hear, a life of addiction, a life of fear.
4.
Nothin'. 02:57
We all got our little stories to tell. A lost love or a personal hell. The times you were robbed in a literal sense. Metaphorical too, the boredom and suspense. But you ain't got nothing if you ain't got something for me. You ain't got nothing, you don't get nothing for free. We all had our little times of trouble. No way to keep yourself wrapped in a bubble. That's the way it goes, the roll of the dice. The future's colder when you're on thin ice. And you ain't got nothing if you ain't got something for me. You ain't got nothing, you don't get nothing for free. No you ain't got nothing if you ain't got something for me. You ain't got nothing, you don't get nothing for free. You may have ten large in the bank. Or get your zeitgeist from a government think-tank. But bring those opinions round our way. You better bring money too cos we care more what that says. And you ain't got nothing if you ain't got something for me. You ain't got nothing, you don't get nothing for free.
5.
Ain't got no time for your useless alibis. Ain't got no time for your low down-stinking lies. Ain't got no time for the tales that you tell. You're just another "Oh well". Ain't got no time for the faces that you wear. Ain't got no time for the code by which you swear. Ain't got no time for your Crocodile smile. While you're pissing down my back all the while. And they say, Oh lord I threw it all away. Oh lord I threw it all away. Oh lord I threw it all away. Ain't got no time for the time that you took. Ain't got no time, I've heard every line in that book. Ain't got no time for the crosses that you bear. If you're a martyr then I'll meet you up there. Still they say, Oh lord I threw it all away. Oh lord I threw it all away. Oh lord I threw it all away. And if you wind up hating everybody that you meet. Accept it's you to blame, for once accept defeat. Because this cycle it will never, ever stop. Until you face up to the fact, you haven't earned a single drop. Ain't got no time, I've butted at this wall long enough. Ain't got no time for those words when you think you're acting tough. I've got an antidote to the venom that you spit. I'm done, it's over this is it.
6.
That's Life. 02:19
Seen so much that I despise upon this dusty road. Beggars thieves and liars all devoid of moral code. Beat me and they kicked me, called me all under the sun. I hate them when they're here but I'll miss them when they're gone. And that's life, how can we tell what's coming next. We just try to keep it focused and in check. But I died inside every time I gave a day to someone else. May not look that way, but at least I've got my health. Tried a lot of crazy things, even one time suicide. You cannot kill what does not live, so sadly, I survived. I owe much more to my Ma and my Pa than to lay their son to rest. Just want them to be proud of me and to know I did my best. And that's life, how can we tell what's coming next. We just try to keep it focused and in check. But I died inside every time I gave a day to someone else. May not look that way, but at least I've got my health. To the world I've created, and the people I've affected. I apologise, and yet regret nothing at all. And for the times I let it run, or cut it off before it's done. I guess I'm sorry, but it doesn't mean a thing. When all is said and done and all the chickens are in bed. Everything I've known and loved has long since been dead. No one will recall the good or bad, the times when i was sick. The heartache that I suffered or the fact that I'm a dick. And that's life, how can we tell what's coming next. We just try to keep it focused and in check. But I died inside every time I gave a day to someone else. May not look that way, but at least I've got my health.
7.
Isolation. 03:04
Stepping out on the street. Getting dirty looks from everyone I meet. Weight of the world's on my feet. I need to find somewhere to make my retreat. And it's nothing to do. With that little bag I bought from you. I said before, you know it's true. There's nothing you can say. that's gonna make me change my mind. I'll give it up some day but. It's Isolation. And sheer frustration. You know that I don't need rehabilitation. Little demons in my head. One either side and they will fight until I'm dead. Break my back to earn my bread. For those things I need well I have sweat and I have bled. And it has nothing to do. With that little bag I bought from you. I said before, you know it's true. There's nothing you can say. that's gonna make me change my mind. I'll give it up some day but. It's Isolation. And sheer frustration. You know that I don't need rehabilitation. 3am rolls around. My body's steaming and I cannot make a sound. Time to lay my burden down. I've left the building and I cannot make a sound. And it has nothing to do. With that little bag I bought from you. I said before, you know it's true. There's nothing you can say. that's gonna make me change my mind. I'll give it up some day but. It's Isolation. And sheer frustration. You know that I don't need rehabilitation.
8.
Slip. 02:59
I can tell with every breath that I draw. I'm getting closer to the day that I both welcome and abhor. And to be honest I don't know which one it is that I will feel until I'm knocking at that door. When I was young I was sheltered from the world. You can't stay this way forever so my misery unfurled. Now I stand at this precipice, gazing down to the abyss. Do I hang on for life? or do I slip? The world's a fearful place, it's cruel and it's unkind. And it's only getting worse, i will weep for it's decline. I try so hard just to lead by my example, not perpetuate the cycle of a hatred so innate. But I perpetuate this cycle, and a hatred so innate. When I was young I was sheltered from the world. You can't stay this way forever so my misery unfurled. Now I stand at this precipice, gazing down to the abyss. Do I hang on for life? Do I hang on for life? Oh do I hang on for dear life or do I slip? I do not love the world, there's many I would burn. Not because their viewpoint differs but because they'll never learn. Just because something is right for you, it doesn't mean in turn. That it's an axiom of truth, you cannot take and not return. It never dies, it never dies, it never dies oh semper fi. To the supremacy of the landmass on which you came to life. And should the colour of your skin lead you to think that what's within. Is of more value or more worth, the world should rue your birth. When I was young I was sheltered from the world. You can't stay this way forever so my misery unfurled. Now I stand at this precipice, gazing down to the abyss. Do I hang on for life? Do I hang on for life? Oh do I hang on for dear life or do I slip?
9.
Control. 04:14
Plot a course for greener pastures, destination unknown. I'm tired of breaking my back and working my fingers to the bone. Can't work to these rules anymore, my patience is out on loan. This mortal coil on which we toil has had it's blood from this stone. I ain't no friend of Jesus, no crickets watching me. I'm a self-made man,as I breathe and stand, what you get is what you see. And there is no ever-after celestial plain of ecstasy. Nor fiery depths so the years I've left i want them to be free. And i don't need respect for what I've done. Nor do i care if what I've said is wrong. You'd take away my right to sing this song. Because you don't want a perfect future, you only want control. There's no purpose to your protest, no rhythm to your tune. When it falls down you think, was it too late, was it too soon? While you think and talk, fight and scream, everything you're doing. Is only beneficial to those who hate you through and through. Still I ain't no friend of Jesus, no crickets watching me. I'm a self-made man,as I breathe and stand, what you get is what you see. And there is no ever-after celestial plain of ecstasy. Nor fiery depths so the years I've left i want them to be free. And i don't need respect for what I've done. Nor do i care if what I've said is wrong. You'd take away my right to sing this song. Because you don't want a perfect future, you only want control. They controlled you, sold you down the river, then they fooled you, told you that you could be free. They controlled you, sold you down the river, then they fooled you, told you that you could be free. They controlled you, sold you down the river, then they fooled you, told you that you could be free. So let me tear you limb from limb and we can bury you in the sky. So you can finally be a part of that for what you claim you'd fight and die. The allegiances you've sworn mean nothing, no matter what you try. And when your blood runs out and you draw your last, we'll see just where they lie. I ain't no friend of Jesus, no crickets watching me. I'm a self-made man,as I breathe and stand, what you get is what you see. And there is no ever-after celestial plain of ecstasy. Nor fiery depths so the years I've left i want them to be free. And i don't need respect for what I've done. Nor do i care if what I've said is wrong. You'd take away my right to sing this song. Because you don't want a perfect future, you only want control.

credits

released January 2, 2016

Recorded & mixed by Kurt Wood @ Silent City, Leeds.
Mastered by Ed Hall @ Shamrock Recording Studio.
Cover artwork by Matty Roughneck Art.
Photography by Matt Baxter.
Layout by Tim Loud.

All tracks written by Tim Loud.
Performed by...
Tim Loud: vocals, harmonica, 12 string acoustic guitar, 6 string electric guitar, bass guitar and percussion.
“Howlin' Ric” Colley: drums, trombone and “gang” vocals.
Nic “X-Ray Cat” Carew: additional electric guitar on ‘Nothin’’ and ‘Threw it All Away’.
Joel Murray: accordion.
Kurt Wood: percussion.
Adam Richards: “gang” vocals.
All tracks under license to Aaahh!!! Real Records, 2016.

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Tim Loud Warrington, UK

With range, character and depth to his vocals and a passionate and varied playing style, Tim tackles an array of genres and influences in his music, while his lyrics take on a wide selection of topics from the personal to the political, always conveyed with a hint of irony and a heavy dose of cynicism. ... more

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